Breathless Read online

  Finally she yanked hard enough that the material ripped. She all but threw it on the hook where the other waitresses hung their aprons.

  Why was he here? She hadn’t done a whole lot to cover her tracks. Yes, she’d left New York, and at the time she hadn’t known where she’d end up. She hadn’t cared. But neither had she done anything to hide. That meant he could have found her at anytime. Why now? After six months, what possible reason could he have for looking for her?

  She refused to believe in coincidences. This wasn’t a place Ryan Beardsley would ever just happen to be. Not his speed. His precious family would die before sullying their palates in anything less than a five-star restaurant.

  Wow, Kelly, bitter much?

  She shook her head, furious with herself for reacting this strongly to the man’s presence.

  “Hey, Kelly, what’s going on?” Nina asked.

  Kelly turned to see the other waitress standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her brow creased with concern.

  “Close the door,” Kelly hissed as she motioned Nina inside.

  Nina quickly complied and the door swung shut. “Is everything all right? You don’t look good, Kelly. Is it the baby?”

  Oh, God, the baby. Ryan would have been blind not to have seen her protruding belly. She had to get out of here.

  “No, I’m not well at all,” she said, grasping for an explanation. “Tell Ralph I had to leave.”

  Nina frowned. “He’s not going to like it. You know how he is about us missing work. Unless we’re missing a limb or vomiting blood, he’s not going to be forgiving.”

  “Then tell him I quit,” Kelly muttered as she hurried toward the alley exit. She paused at the rickety door and turned anxiously back to Nina. “Do me a favor, Nina. This is important, okay? If anyone in the diner asks about me—anyone at all—you don’t know anything.”

  Nina’s eyes widened. “Kelly, are in you in some kind of trouble?”

  Kelly shook her head impatiently. “I’m not in trouble. I swear it. It’s…it’s my ex. He’s a real bastard. I saw him in the diner a minute ago.”

  Nina’s lips tightened and her eyes blazed with indignation. “You go on ahead, hon. I’ll take care of things here.”

  “Bless you,” Kelly murmured.

  She ducked out the back door of the diner and headed down the alley. Her apartment was only two blocks away. She could go there and figure out what the heck to do next.

  She almost stopped halfway there. Why was she running? She had nothing to hide. She’d done nothing wrong. What she should have done was march across that diner and bloodied his nose. Instead she was running.

  She took the flimsy stairs to her second-story apartment two at a time. When she was inside, she closed the door and leaned heavily against it.

  Tears pricked her eyelids and it only made her more furious that she was actually upset over seeing Ryan Beardsley again. No, she didn’t want to face him. She never wanted to see him again. Never did she want anyone to have the kind of power he had to hurt her. Never again.

  Her hands automatically went to her belly, and she rubbed soothingly, not sure who she was trying to comfort more, her baby or herself.

  “I was a fool to love him,” she whispered. “I was a fool to think I could ever fit in and that his family would accept me.”

  She jumped when the door behind her vibrated with a knock. Her heart leaped into her throat, and she put a shaky hand to her chest. She stared at the door as if she could see through it.

  “Kelly, open the damn door. I know you’re in there.”

  Ryan. God. The very last person she wanted to open the door to.

  She put a hand to the wood and leaned forward, unsure of whether she should ignore him or respond.

  The force of his second knock bumped her hand, and she snatched it away.

  “Go away,” she finally shouted. “I have nothing to say to you.”

  Suddenly the door shuddered and flew open. She took several hasty steps backward, her arms curling protectively over her belly.

  He filled the doorway, looking as big and formidable as ever. Nothing had changed except for new lines around his mouth and eyes. His gaze stroked over her, piercing through any protective barriers she thought to construct. He’d always had a way of seeing right to the heart of her. Except when it mattered the most.

  Fresh grief flooded through her chest. Damn him. What else could he possibly want to do to hurt her? He’d already destroyed her.

  “Get out,” she said, proud of how steady her voice sounded. “Get out or I’ll call the police. I have nothing to talk to you about. Not now. Not ever.”

  “That’s too bad,” Ryan said as he stalked forward, “because I have plenty to talk to you about. Starting with whose baby you’re pregnant with.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Kelly willed herself not to rage at him. Instead, she looked calmly at him, coolly, while emotions boiled beneath the surface like molten lava ready to erupt. “It’s none of your business.”

  His nostrils flared. “It is if you’re carrying my baby.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. “Now why would you think that?”

  For a man only too willing to believe she’d slept around, it seemed pretty damn ridiculous that he’d barge into her apartment demanding to know whether or not her baby was his.

  “Damn it, Kelly, we were engaged. We lived together and were intimate often. I have a right to know if this is my child.”

  She raised an eyebrow and studied him for a moment. “There is no way to know. After all I was with so many other men, your brother included.” She shrugged nonchalantly and turned away from him, going into the kitchen.

  He was close on her heels and she could feel the anger emanating from him. “You’re a bitch, Kelly. A cold, calculating bitch. I gave you everything and you threw it away for a little gratuitous sex on the side.”

  She whipped around, the urge to hit him so strong that she had to curl her fingers into a fist to keep from doing just that. “Get out. Get out and don’t ever come back.”

  His eyes glittered with anger and frustration. “I’m not going anywhere, Kelly, not until you tell me what I want to know.”

  She bared her teeth. “It’s not your baby. Happy? Now go.”

  “Is it Jarrod’s then?”

  “Why don’t you ask him?”

  “We don’t talk about you,” he bit out.

  “Well, I don’t want to talk about either of you. I want you out of my apartment. It isn’t your baby. Get out of my life. I did as you asked. I got out of yours.”

  “You didn’t give me a choice.”

  She looked scornfully at him. “Choice? I don’t remember having a choice either. You made that choice for both of us.”

  He stared at her in disbelief. “You’re a piece of work, Kelly. Still the innocent martyr, I see.”

  She walked over to the door and opened it, looking expectantly at him.

  He didn’t move. “Why are you living this way, Kelly? I can’t wrap my head around why you did what you did. I would have given you everything. Hell, I still gave you a hefty amount of money when we broke up because I didn’t like to think of you being without. But now I find you living in squalor working a job that is far beneath your abilities.”

  A wave of hatred hit her hard. In this moment she realized that she truly loved and hated him in equal measure. Her chest hurt so bad that she couldn’t breathe. Her mind went back to the day when she’d stood in front of him, devastated, completely and utterly broken, while he scribbled his signature on a bank draft and disdainfully shoved it toward her.

  The look in his eyes had told her that he didn’t love her, had never loved her. He didn’t trust her. He didn’t have faith in her.

  When she’d needed him the absolute most, he’d let her down and treated her like a paid whore. She would never forgive him for that.

  She slowly turned and dragged herself over to the kitchen drawer whe
re she kept the crumpled envelope containing the check. A reminder of broken dreams and ultimate betrayal. She’d looked at it often but had sworn she would never walk into a bank and cash it.

  She picked it up and walked back over to where he stood, his expression inscrutable. She crumpled the envelope into a ball and hurled it at him, hitting him in the cheek.

  “There’s your check,” she hissed. “Take it and get the hell out of my life.”

  He bent slowly and retrieved the balled-up envelope. He unfolded it and then opened it, taking out the worn check. He frowned and then stared back at her. “I don’t understand.”

  “You’ve never understood,” she whispered. “Since you won’t leave, I’m out of here.”

  Before he could stop her, she walked past him and slammed the door behind her.

  Ryan stared at the check in his hand in stunned disbelief, unable to formulate his thoughts. Why? She acted as though he was a piece of scum. What the hell had he ever done to her but make sure she was taken care of?

  He glanced around at the efficiency apartment, noting the disrepair and the cheapness of the furnishings. Two cabinet doors were barely hanging on their hinges and there was nothing inside. No food.

  With a frown he stalked to the refrigerator and threw open the door. He cursed when he saw only a carton of milk, half a package of cheese and a jar of peanut butter.

  He hastily rummaged through the rest of the kitchen, growing more furious when he found nothing more. How was she surviving? Furthermore, why was she living like this?

  He glanced back down at the check and shook his head. There were enough zeros in the amount for her to live a good, modest life for years to come.

  The ink had run in several places and it was smudged with fingerprints. But she’d never tried to cash it. Why? There were so many questions running around in his head that he couldn’t process them all.

  Did she feel guilty over what she’d done? Had she been ashamed to take money from him after betraying him?

  Not the best time to develop a conscience.

  One thing was for certain. He wasn’t leaving. There were too many unanswered questions and he wanted answers. Why was she here in this run-down place with a job that obviously didn’t net her enough money to feed herself, much less live a comfortable life? What in the world was she going to do when the baby came? Whether it was his baby or not, he couldn’t allow himself to walk away. Not when she had meant so much to him.

  She wasn’t taking care of herself. He had always taken care of her in the past and he would do it again. Whether she liked it or not.

  * * *

  Kelly cut behind her apartment complex using the side street. She didn’t go back to work, although it was what she should do. A day’s lost wages wasn’t the end of the world, but the tips she missed would be a blow to her meager savings.

  She needed time to think. To compose herself. And Ryan would only go back to the diner to force another confrontation.

  The rain had stopped but the skies were still cast in gloomy shades of gray with more black clouds in the distance, a sure signal that the rain wasn’t over for the day.

  Tears threatened, much like those ominous storm clouds, but she sucked in her breath—determined not to allow her unexpected face-to-face with Ryan to break her.

  The small playground just three blocks from her apartment was abandoned. No children playing. The swings were empty, swaying in the breeze and the merry-go-round creaked as it rotated slowly.

  She slid onto one of the benches, her mind in chaos from the bombardment of anger, grief and shock.

  Why had he come?

  Her pregnancy was obviously a huge surprise to him. There was no faking the what-the-hell expression on his face in the diner. Nor was their meeting some bizarre coincidence.

  She’d given their relationship a lot of thought over the past months, when she wasn’t doing everything possible to make herself forget him. Like that was going to happen.

  She knew several things. One, they’d moved way too fast. From their meeting in the café where she’d served him coffee to their rush engagement, she hadn’t taken the time to be sure of him. Oh, she’d been plenty sure of herself. She’d fallen head over heels from the first look. She’d allowed herself to be swept into a relationship with him, never questioning his commitment to her. Or his love.

  The obstacles then had seemed insignificant. He was out of her league, but she’d naively assumed that love would conquer all and that it didn’t matter if his family or friends disapproved. She would prove herself worthy. She’d fit in with his lifestyle.

  No, she didn’t have his money, his connections, his breeding or heritage. But who even cared about that stuff in this day and age?

  She’d been stupid. She’d put off school, at least temporarily, because she’d been consumed with being the perfect girlfriend, fiancée and eventually wife to Ryan Beardsley. She’d allowed him to outfit her in the finest clothing. She’d moved into his apartment with him. She’d agonized over saying the right thing and being the ideal complement to his life.

  And she’d never had a chance.

  Anyone who thought love was a cure for all things was a misguided fool. Maybe if he’d loved her enough—or at all. How could he ever have loved her when he turned on her at the first opportunity?

  She closed her eyes against the unwanted sting of tears. She’d fled New York and ended up here in Houston. She’d forged a new life for herself. It wasn’t the best life, but it was hers.

  She’d known that she couldn’t go back to school until after her baby was born and so she’d worked and saved every penny for that eventuality. She lived in the cheapest apartment she could find and earmarked all her earnings for when her child arrived. Then she would move into a better place, somewhere safe to raise a child and complete the two semesters she had left of school so she could make a better life for both herself and her precious baby. Without Ryan Beardsley and his filthy money and his horrid family and all the mistrust and betrayal she’d been subjected to.

  Now… Now what? Why was Ryan here? And what would his discovery of her pregnancy mean for her future? Her plans? Her determination never to allow herself back into a situation where she risked so much hurt and devastation?

  She rubbed her forehead tiredly, willing the ache to go away. She was tired, worn thin and in no position to defend herself from whatever onslaught Ryan was preparing.

  Her fingers tightened and anger penetrated the haze. Why the hell was she sitting on a park bench hiding? She wasn’t in the wrong. Ryan couldn’t make her do anything he wanted; and, furthermore, he would leave her apartment or she’d get a restraining order against him.

  He had no power over her anymore.

  She breathed in deeply, steadying her shot nerves. Yeah, he’d caught her off guard. She hadn’t been prepared to see him again. But that didn’t mean she was going to let him mow over her.

  Even as she made that resolution, nervous fear fluttered in her chest and tightened her throat. The future that she’d planned suddenly seemed in peril with Ryan’s reappearance in her life.

  If he got it in his head that it was his child she carried, he wouldn’t go away. The problem was, even if she managed to convince him that it wasn’t his child, he’d only assume it was Jarrod’s. That still made the Beardsley family a serious impediment to her future.

  “One thing at a time, Kelly,” she murmured.

  The very first thing she had to do was get Ryan out of her apartment so she could weigh her options. She may not have his money or connections but that didn’t mean she was going to fold at the first sign of adversity.

  A raindrop hit her forehead and she sighed. It had begun sprinkling again, and if she didn’t get back, she’d be caught out in the downpour that was surely coming.

  As she trudged in the direction of her building she cheered herself up by imagining that he wouldn’t be there. That he’d given up and left, deciding she wasn’t worth the effort. She sno
rted as that thought crossed her mind. He’d already done that once. It wasn’t a stretch that he’d simply dismiss her from his life again.

  By the time she climbed the stairs to her apartment, she was soaked through and her hair clung limply to her head. She shivered as she fumbled with the lock to let herself in.

  It didn’t surprise her to see Ryan pacing the floor of her living room. She stiffened her shoulders just as he whirled around.

  “Where the hell have you been?” he demanded.

  “None of your business.”

  “The hell it’s not. You didn’t go back to work. It’s raining and you’re soaked to the skin. Are you crazy?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “Clearly I am. Or I was. But not anymore. Get out, Ryan. This is my apartment. You have no rights here. You can’t bully your way in here. I’ll swear out a restraining order if I have to.”

  His forehead wrinkled and he stared at her in surprise. “You think I’d hurt you?”

  She lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Physically? No.”

  He swore under his breath. Then he ran his hand through his hair in agitation. “You need to eat. There’s no food in this apartment. How the hell are you taking care of yourself and a baby when you’re on your feet all day? You’re clearly not eating here. There’s nothing to eat!”

  “My, my, one would think you cared,” she mocked. “But we both know that isn’t true. Don’t worry about me, Ryan. I’m taking care of myself and my baby just fine.”

  He stalked toward her, his eyes blazing. “Oh, I care, Kelly. You can’t accuse me of not caring. I wasn’t the one who threw away what we had. That’s on you. Not me.”

  She held up a hand and hastily backed away. Her fingers trembled and she felt precariously light-headed. “Get. Out.”

  His nostrils flared and his lip curled up as if he was about to launch another offensive. Then he took a step back and blew out his breath.

  “I’ll leave, but I’ll be back at nine tomorrow morning.”

  She lifted one eyebrow.

  “You have an appointment to see a doctor. I’m taking you.”