Shades of Gray: A KGI Novel Read online

  “Maya Banks writes the kind of books I love to read!”

  —Lora Leigh, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Secret Sins

  Praise for the novels of Maya Banks

  WHISPERS IN THE DARK

  “A must-read for . . . Christine Feehan and Lora Leigh fans. The nonstop action and sensuality is a treat not to be missed. I can’t wait for the next installment of the KGI series.”

  —Fresh Fiction

  “A deeply emotional, highly satisfying, edge-of-your-seat read . . . Compelling and cutting-edge romance.”

  —Joyfully Reviewed

  “Maya—FREAKING—Banks . . . can do it all. Absolutely nothing is out of this author’s reach.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “You’ll be on the edge of your seat with this one . . . and it’s so worth the ride.”

  —Night Owl Reviews

  HIDDEN AWAY

  “If I ever wanted to be adopted into a fictional family, it would be the Kellys . . . I am devoted to the Kelly brothers.”

  —Fiction Vixen Book Reviews

  “[An] action-packed story.”

  —The Mystery Gazette

  NO PLACE TO RUN

  “Fast action is the name of the game . . . If you’re looking for a sexual, sensual, romantic suspense story, look no further.”

  —Night Owl Reviews

  “Great twists and turns.”

  —CK2S Kwips and Kritiques

  THE DARKEST HOUR

  “An intriguing mix of military action and sizzling romance.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Suspenseful, sinfully sensuous and straight-up awesome”

  —Joyfully Reviewed

  “Wrought with a sensual tension.”

  —Romance Junkies

  SWEET TEMPTATION

  “Sizzle, sex appeal and sensuality! Maya Banks has it all . . . This book is on the inferno side of hot, and it shows on every page.”

  —Romance Junkies

  “An enjoyable tale of [a] second chance at life.”

  —Genre Go Round Reviews

  SWEET SEDUCTION

  “Maya Banks never fails to tell compelling tales that evoke an emotional reaction in readers . . . Kept me on the edge of my seat.”

  —Romance Junkies

  SWEET PERSUASION

  “Surpassed all my expectations . . . Sweet Persuasion will have Maya Banks fans, new and existing alike, lasciviously begging for more.”

  —RT Book Reviews (4½ stars)

  “Ignites the pages . . . Exciting erotic romance.”

  —The Best Reviews

  “Well-written and evocative.”

  —Dear Author

  SWEET SURRENDER

  “Ran my heart through the wringer more than once.”

  —CK2S Kwips and Kritiques

  “[I] literally could not stop reading until the last page.”

  —The Romance Studio

  BE WITH ME

  “I absolutely loved it.”

  —Sunny, national bestselling author of Mona Lisa Eclipsing

  “Fascinating erotic romantic suspense.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  FOR HER PLEASURE

  “Enticing, enchanting and sinfully sensual.”

  —Joyfully Reviewed

  “A must-read!”

  —Romance Junkies

  “Totally intoxicating.”

  —The Road to Romance

  Titles by Maya Banks

  FOR HER PLEASURE

  BE WITH ME

  SWEET SURRENDER

  SWEET PERSUASION

  SWEET SEDUCTION

  SWEET TEMPTATION

  SWEET POSSESSION

  SWEET ADDICTION

  THE DARKEST HOUR

  NO PLACE TO RUN

  HIDDEN AWAY

  WHISPERS IN THE DARK

  ECHOES AT DAWN

  SHADES OF GRAY

  COLTERS’ PROMISE

  Anthologies

  FOUR PLAY

  (with Shayla Black)

  MEN OUT OF UNIFORM

  (with Karin Tabke and Sylvia Day)

  Specials

  “PILLOW TALK” from FOUR PLAY

  THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) • Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) • Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) • Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  SHADES OF GRAY

  A Berkley Sensation Book / published by arrangement with the author

  PUBLISHING HISTORY

  Berkley Sensation mass-market edition / January 2013

  Copyright © 2012 by Maya Banks.

  Cover art by Craig White.

  Cover design by Rita Frangie.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  For information, address: The Berkley Publishing Group,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  ISBN: 978-1-101-61464-8

  BERKLEY SENSATION®

  Berkley Sensation Books are published by The Berkley Publishing Group,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  BERKLEY SENSATION® is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  Contents

  Praise

  Also by Maya Banks

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHA
PTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  For my babies. Love you all to pieces.

  CHAPTER 1

  P.J. Rutherford cocked back her chair and flung her boot on top of the table in front of her. She adjusted her straw cowboy hat so her eyes were barely visible and stared over the smoke-filled room to the band setting up along the far wall.

  The waitress thumped a bottle of beer on the table next to P.J.’s boot and then sashayed away, her attention reserved for the male customers she flirted with and chatted up.

  P.J. wasn’t a chatter. She’d never spoken to anyone in all the time she’d been coming here. She couldn’t be called a regular, but yet, in all her irregularity, she was.

  This was her place to unwind between missions. It wasn’t what most would consider a place of rest and relaxation, but for P.J. it worked to throw back a few beers, inhale some secondhand smoke, go deaf from listening to bad cover songs and watch a few bar fights.

  She winced when the guitarist riffed a particularly bad chord and then ground her teeth together when the mike squealed. These guys were amateurs. Hell, it was probably their first live gig, which meant she was going home tone-deaf and popping ibuprofen for the headache she’d be sure to have.

  But it beat spending the evening alone in her apartment with jet lag. Although she wasn’t even sure it could be considered jet lag. She’d been three days without sleep, so truly she could sleep at any time, but she was wired and still buzzed from adrenaline the last mission had wrought.

  She was wound tighter than a rusted spring and there was no give in her muscles tonight.

  The big, happy mush fest that had gone on at the Kelly compound, complete with double weddings and enough true love and babies and bullshit to make her green around the gills, hadn’t helped.

  Not that she was a cynic when it came to romance. She had her romance novels and she was fiercely protective of them and against anyone giving her shit over reading them.

  But sometimes the Kelly clan was a little overbearing in the sheer sugary sweetness of all that unconditional love and support. Did no one ever get pissed off and start a fight?

  The truth was, she just felt out of place, which was why she’d rather stick to her own team, let Steele take the orders from Sam or Garrett Kelly and she’d follow her team leader. The day Steele became embroiled in all that happy, bubbly shit was the day she hung up her rifle and called it quits.

  She liked Steele. She knew where she stood with Steele. Always. He didn’t sugarcoat shit. If you fucked up, he called you on it. If you did your job, you didn’t get any special accolades. Not for doing your fucking job, as he put it.

  And she liked her team, even if Coletrane was one giant pain in her ass. But he was a cute pain in the ass and he was harmless. Plus he was a perfect target for cutting jokes and egging on. Easy. Too easy. He rose to the bait on too many occasions for her to count.

  She was the better marksman. She knew that without false modesty. But it didn’t stop a healthy rivalry between her and Cole when it came to sniper duty.

  It pushed them both, made them better at their jobs and made the relationship between them easygoing and casual. Just the way she liked it.

  The current song ended, and she sighed in relief. The band looked to be taking a short break, but her ears were still roaring from the deafening sounds of just moments earlier.

  She was reaching for her beer when she saw a group of three men walk through the door. Her hand shook, nearly knocking the bottle over. Her stomach plummeted like a rock, and she briefly considered making a break for the restroom.

  Just as quickly, anger replaced the sudden panic. What the hell was she contemplating hiding for? She hadn’t done anything wrong. Her ex-lover and his buddies had hung her out to dry. Not the other way around.

  She forced her gaze away, pretended interest in an object across the room and hoped they wouldn’t notice her. From her periphery, she saw the moment Derek looked her way and recognized her.

  He went completely still and then he nudged Jimmy and Mike and pointed in her direction.

  Fuck. They were walking this way. Just what she goddamn needed on a night she just wanted to be left alone.

  She was still staring ahead when Derek stepped in front of her, blocking her vision. She slowly looked up, making sure her expression was cool and unruffled.

  “So is this where you’re hanging out now, P.J.?” Derek drawled. “Didn’t figure you one for trolling this kind of place.”

  The insulting tone grated on her nerves.

  “Get out of my space, Derek.”

  He lifted an eyebrow and quirked the corner of his mouth up in a sneer. “That’s not what you used to say. Of course that was before you decided to shit on your team. Where are you working these days, P.J.? Surely not here. You don’t quite have the body to pull this gig off.”

  The old P.J. would already be in his face and would have knocked him on his ass. The new P.J. . . .

  Fuck it. There was nothing wrong with the old P.J.

  She rose from her chair, tipped back her hat and leveled a cold stare at the three. Back in the day they’d been tight. All four of them. She and Derek had been lovers for two years. They’d hooked up almost immediately after P.J. had joined the S.W.A.T. team and they’d managed to keep their relationship a secret, hiding behind friendship. Friendship they genuinely shared with Jimmy and Mike.

  Derek smirked, almost as if he figured she’d turn and walk out. Because that’s what she was good at. Running.

  Not this time.

  She pulled her hand back and slugged him right in the nose.

  His hand flew up as his head whipped back and he staggered backward several steps.

  His fingers came away bloody and he charged forward. She held her ground, refusing to be intimidated by the asshole.

  “What the fuck was that?” he roared.

  “Something I should have done a hell of a long time ago,” she said calmly. “Listen up, pencil dick. I don’t have time for your bullshit. I don’t give a shit about you or your lame sidekicks, so do us both a favor and leave me the fuck alone.”

  “Once a bitch always a bitch, huh, P.J.?” Mike said with curled lips.

  “You think what you want, Mike,” she said in a calm, measured voice. “I walked away with a clear conscience. Can you say the same?”

  He flushed red, and anger bristled visibly from him. He started toward her but Jimmy stuck out his arm.

  “What the fuck, Mike? You going to start a fight in a public bar with a woman?”

  “Feel free,” P.J. said sweetly. “I’m more than happy to kick his ass.”

  “What happened to you?” Derek demanded. “You didn’t used to be so cold.”

  “Forgive me for not rolling over and taking the ass fucking you gave me so well. I wasn’t the one who was dirty. That’s on you and your buddies. You expected me to look the other way, and when I didn’t, you hung me out to dry. Fuck that and fuck you. Now get the hell out of my space.”

  She was so focused on her former teammates that she didn’t notice the newcomer until a strong arm wrapped around her waist and hauled her up against his side.

  “Sorry I’m late, darlin’,” Cole drawled. “Who are your little friends?”

  She stiffened in shock, her mouth falling open. Cole covered her lapse by pressing his lips to hers and giving her a long, lingering, toe-curling kiss.

  She was so flustered and flabbergasted over his sudden appearance that she could do little more than stand there while he ravished her mouth.

  What a silly word. She’d read the word a lot in her old-school romances, and when she was a teenager, she’d giggled over the idea of being ravished, but holy hell, there was no other word that came to mind as he thoroughly tasted every inch of
her mouth.

  He drew away, amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. His hair had gotten a little longer than his normal neat cut, so it was spiky on top, aided no doubt by what looked like hair gel. She’d have to give him shit over that later. Right after she found out what the hell he was doing here in her bar when he was supposed to be across the country in Tennessee.

  When he pulled away, she got a better look at him and nearly laughed out loud. He was still dressed in fatigues, black shirt and his combat boots. He looked like he’d come here straight from the last mission, and, well, she supposed he had, since he was here and not in Tennessee.

  She had to admit, he looked like a total badass. He dwarfed her and was a good two inches taller than Derek, who was the tallest of his trio. And his biceps bulged and strained against the tight short sleeves of the T-shirt.

  She couldn’t have planned this any better. His timing was impeccable.

  “Cole, this is asshole number one, two and three.”

  Cole lifted his brow and his eyes gleamed with amusement. “Is there a problem, gentlemen? Because the way I saw it across the room, you didn’t look friendly. In fact, it looked very much to me like you were trying to intimidate someone much smaller than yourselves, and a woman, to boot.”

  “Fuck this,” Derek snarled. “You’re welcome to the fucking ice queen. She nearly froze my dick off.”

  “What dick?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

  Cole’s arm was still around her and he didn’t seem inclined to remove it anytime soon.

  “Fuck you,” Derek said rudely. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I can’t stomach being around a rat fink.”

  The three men headed for the door and P.J. blew out a deep breath. That could have gotten ugly, and in this joint, there wasn’t much in the way of security. The one bouncer was balding, middle aged and had a beer gut that made him slow and clumsy. He wouldn’t be much help in an altercation.

  “You can let go now,” she muttered.

  Cole let his arm fall and then pulled a chair out at her table and sprawled into it, waving to the waitress at the same time.

  The waitress wasted no time hurrying over. She gifted Cole with her best flirtatious smile and hovered a lot closer than necessary, affording him a prime view of her cleavage.